"And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him." (Deuteronomy 4:29)
(This is Moses speaking to the Israelites about how it would be/what they would have to do if they break their covenant with God [reject the LORD]).

Amazing how things are so much clearer for me. It all fits together. It's awesome. The Bible - I suggest it.

Changing tunes slightly, I've been praying to God to help me see the truth. I had been in a "cocoon." This cocoon had been profoundly encapsulating me for years now, but I decided it would figure itself out...or someday I would put in the effort to get myself out. Well I guess I was right about the latter part because that day came. But anyway, my thought process was "How do I know that God exists? How can I make sure that what I've been previously told doesn't influence my conclusion? If God does exist and Jesus is the Christ, why wouldn't this loving God show me he is real by having a relationship with me? How can I know this relationship isn't a self-constructed reality?"
I had been wondering if He heard me. And well, He has heard me! I had a breakdown from all this running through my mind all the time, every day (and listening to mewithoutYou). That night I asked God more sincerely and honestly than I ever had asked for anything to show me the truth, to make me trust in Him completely.
The next night my mom told me of these - now I was skeptical - these lessons collectively called The Truth Project. There was a conference at a local church on this which I was glad I couldn't make it to. Let me remind you, I was skeptical, and I didn't want to have to weed out more biased information on my journey to a conclusion on God. Well soon enough my mother was watching the DVD set of these lessons one day when I came home from work. I was curious and sat down to watch. I was very surprised that this dude - Dr. Del Tackett - was coming at all this in a very...philosophical way. Very logically deductive. Needless to say, I strongly recommend watching these lessons. The format is that this dude is teaching (I would like to use the word "discussing," but this dude has a doctorate and is standing in front of students, so I deem "teaching" appropriate) a class on the who, what, when, where, and why of God and of Christianity and teaching the who, what, when, where and why of the opposite side. I am a very much a stickler for logic and reason. And the (seemingly) ironic part of this is that God makes perfect sense. Of course He does!
Up until lately, it seemed fairly, kinda sorta, clearish foggyish that God was working in my life. The problem was that I couldn't see it because I didn't wholy believe that He could because I didn't wholy believe that He existed. And I was definitely not going to just allow myself to believe in something when I knew that was what I wanted to believe in. See, it's clear that people have a strong tendency to believe and/or "know" what makes them feel good, what brings them comfort. And I didn't want this. I want to know THE TRUTH, whatever that may be. I talk to God, and he hears me because he answers me. Maybe not on my time (I like instant), but it is soon enough. He does what I ask and he does what he says he'll do.
So anyway, long story short - think and put some effort behind it!, read the Bible, watch The Truth Project. I have it if you want to borrow it. Just ask.