The time is finally approaching! The time where I can sit back and relax and hang with friends!! Ahh yes! I have missed it so. This past week has been brutal. Since Monday I've had either work or school and have had 5 tests to study for. Not to mention the usual homework. So here's how it's going. Monday - school & test, Tuesday - work, Wednesday - school, Thursday - work, Friday - school & 2 tests, Saturday - work, Sunday - work, Monday - school & 2 tests, Tuesday - OFF!, Wednesday - test. I should mention that the days I work are 8 hour days and all but one are 10-6 shifts. Tomorrow (Sunday) I work 7-3 then home to study for my two tests on Monday! Ok I think I've successfully gotten you to pity me (or not). Now I should stop.
I still have a boat load of things to get done! But this week I should be able to get most, if not all, of that done.

I've been really itchin to move out again lately. It sucks. I just want my own space again. My own bathroom, kitchen, living room, balcony, yard, and whatnot. More is better of course. I have stuff. I have no where for most of this stuff. I'll want to buy more stuff to fill the more abundant space as well. I'll see a picture of a room in a mag or something (prob not a mag cuz I don't read mags) and I'll say "that's what my kitchen will look like!" And then a problem arises. I'm struggling to afford this place in the first place, how am I going to keep buying all these pretty things to make my home someplace I really want to come home to. Oh my I'm getting into it again. Well you see, I've had this problem already. I was out on my own, struggling to afford it and all the while wanting a pretty home. I just gotta put my hope in God that all of this will take care of itself in one way or another.
I can't make my room here what I want it to be because it's too small. I have things I would love to keep in my room. I want a little lounge area too. No can do in this space.

This Is Quite Difficult

I know it's hard to believe, but I've been feeling a lot of emotions lately. Nostalgic, often. Alone, mostly. Confused, almost always. Sometimes I think I might have stumbled upon the right mindset/viewpoint/attitude but that quickly fades out as a new unwelcome thought finds its way in. I'm trying to figure it all out. I know well enough that I won't...ever....but isn't that what we're supposed to do in this life? Try to figure it out and become someone you know you can't ever possibly become?
What a terrible conundrum.

There is nothing for which I'm responsible.
Just this baggage I keep carrying on,
As if I had someone.

Maybe there's a woman somewhere,
Who's still thinking of me.
A girl with coal black hair,
Who's haunted in her dreams.
By what they've seen, but it wasn't me.
It's just some lie, they slept beside.
Yeah I kept this from them,
But I can't keep this from you.

So will you look for me, in that strange bright place,
Where the statues bloom in the park.
They don't need no brain.
Cause how I ever got to you, I have no idea.
It's like some secret door, well it just appeared.
So, no matter what I do from now on with my time
You will always stay here, in my mind.
I'm certain of this, and I'm not certain of anything.

So, I wanna get myself attached to something bolted down.
So these winds of circumstance won't keep blowin' me around.
From when I land to when I leave:
There's not enough time to sleep and sing.
I keep running around and all I want is to lay motionless.