I am stressed. Let me repeat that: I AM STRESSED! Maybe this is all kinda like the snowball effect, but I'm stressed about the semester ending 1st off. Then I'm worried about where my life is headed. Then I'm worried about friends & relationships and how they're staying alive (or not evolving), about money, about family, about God, and I'm sure I could go on but I will try to spare you.
With this semester ending, that brings stress about final grades. Everything I do now really matters. Before I had the mentality that I will try my best, but if that's not good enough I can make it up later. Well you know how it goes I'm sure. Later IS now! I need to get A's in micro and A&P so that I can make it into dental hygiene. If I can't make it into dental hygiene then I'll have to change my major and go to school, live at home, work at WV for another couple of years. Oh, and dig myself deeper into debt.

Yesterday I had a good day. I had my first day off from school and work for a long time. I went to Roots to hang with my family. The women there always make me feel pretty (mostly because they tell me) and that is a huge self esteem boost. I am never, ever validated except for those women (and my g-ma) so that means a lot to me. Actually, one woman my mother works with told my mom that she wants to hook me up with her son. That made me feel pretty good. Apparently she will tell him to look me up on facebook. I doubt he'll message me, because I doubt he'll find me attractive. I'm never anyone's type.
So this great day that I had yesterday I'm blaming for this shitty day today. I was feeling pretty good about myself, and now I'm down on myself. I'm blaming myself and my bad luck for my troubles. Two people lied to me yesterday. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't let it get to me so much. But today, it's making me feel like an undesirable person - someone who deserves to be lied to. Maybe I am.
This being in your 20's thing blows. High school blew. This blows. I can only logically conclude that things will continue to blow. I do feel like I'm making some progress in general however. I do have my setbacks, such as days like today. I just want to sit with a close friend and talk for hours...with coffee.....and Jo.